In Which Abigail Adams, Unamused By Misogynist Founding Fathers, Is Inspired by This Fight Riff And Punches The Person On Her Left

Author: Maria McKee

As the lyrics “Salvation so bitter sweet

the taste brought fear to our tongues”

blare from monitors on either side of the stage,

Abigail Adams levels three people with a spin kick.

Aaron Burr falls to the ground holding his ear and attempts

to crawl out of the pit, blood stains following

on the black concrete floor.

 

Her hoop skirt umbrellas around her waist

as she hate dives boot first into the face

of Thomas Jefferson, pushing his teeth

to the back of his throat, causing him to choke

on his egoist tomfoolery.

 

Corset loosening, she breathes easier

as she head crawls toward the stage, eager

to grab hold of the mic from Alexander Hamilton.

Sweat flies from his forehead and his eyes widen

in surprised satisfaction at her tenacity.  Abigail piles on,

and is immediately suffocated by tank tops and cut-off

camouflage shorts following her lead.

 

Impressed by her technique, James Madison makes Abigail an offer

to join Brothers For Life’s hate-moshing, hardcore jamboree.

She leaves and heads to The Coney for a milkshake.

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